I remember when I started longing for Womb connection. I had no connection to my Womb, I didn’t really know that there was such a connection.
I thought my womb was meant for creating and carrying children, and shedding my monthly blood.
The path of Feminine Awakening has been a long journey for me. It started years ago and step by step, I have come closer to my Womb.
In the beginning I longed to feel more feminine, to be recognised as a feminine being and to feel sensual and beautiful. It was external femininity I longed for, I had learnt that being feminine meant looking beautiful, sexy and attractive. I longed to feel sensual and in touch with my sexuality.
When I passed thirty, my womb had had enough of me dishonouring and not listening to her. She started crying out for help by expressing herself in massive menstrual cramps. I’m talking, kneeling on the floor on my hands and knees, crying out loud and my heart bursting in sorrow.
I did my best, though I was just so lost, lacking guidance and an elder that at least could have told me there is a possibility to heal.
I had finally got the message. Something wasn’t quite right. This started my search for Feminine Healing. It was challenging, and I gave up many times by the lack of guidance, not finding the help I needed, not knowing where to look.
I can’t clearly say what happened.
It was my womb who started communicating with me beyond words. I bowed down to my Womb and gently asked her what she needed, what I could do for her. I prayed for opening and healing, I opened up to the deep longing my whole being felt to heal my feminine wounds.
And she replied.. In the beginning, not much happened. However, there was a lot releasing in my heart. Grief, frustration, sadness and feeling lost in my life.
I wanted to feel like a woman, not like a lost little girl. I wanted to feel at home in myself. Not disconnected from my body, scared of intimacy, unable to feel pleasure.
I also started seeing the connection between not feeling feminine and the separation between myself and my womb.
The first practice I did (which is still one of my main practices), is to place a loving and healing hand on my womb. As I am trained in Cranio Sacral therapy, I have experienced the healing power of our hands and how, with intention, we can heal ourselves deeply.
You might think “this sounds a bit too easy, can really that much happen?”
Well, in the beginning it might be quiet. She possibly needs to feel more trust and safety. Or you might not be paying attention to her messages. We may expect deep, magical releases and sensations, which is a beautiful part of Womb Awakening. However, she has so many ways of expressing herself.
I have often found that her subtlest expression has been the most healing to me. Especially when she opens up my heart to true love, beyond anything I have ever experienced.
Energy follows attention and when we bring our loving attention to our womb, again and again, with an ocean of patience, she will release. She may release through your heart, in the form of sorrow, ager, painful memories. Tears might come. Or, she may physically start releasing through cramps in your womb. Your menstruation can change. Maybe it is cramping more than usual and bleeding heavy, together with strong emotional releases.
There is not really any limit to how she can express herself. The question is, are you paying attention?
There is a beautiful metaphor for a woman’s healing path. Imagine a small little rosebud about to bloom. We can’t force the rosebud to bloom. We can’t force its fragile petals open. We have to let it take the time it’s meant to take to bloom. We have to give it nourishment, water, sunlight and loving presence. Then it will bloom into the most exquisite looking, fragrant flower.
Womb healing doesn’t happen in linear time. It happens in Wombtime, beyond the frame of time that we are used to measuring with. That’s why we can’t be rushed when we are doing a womb ritual. And we can’t force her to open up and release.
We have to step into a Feminine receptive space. Just like a mother, who’s helping her child learning to walk. She would never get angry and impatient with her for not walking fast enough. She would encourage her, love her and be so proud when she takes a few steps. It takes the time it needs to take.
In your womb's time, not in your mind's time, she will start opening and revealing her glories of infinite love, of pleasure, of power and feminine beauty that comes from the inside. Touch her gently, with all your love. Embrace her with compassion and patience. Love every part of her and feel her intimately in your heart and she will reveal herself. Go on a meditative journey with her, listen to her and talk to her. Feel her and sense her. Give her all your love and attention.