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  • Writer's pictureJenny Janaki

The Way Out of Pain

A deeply healing shift happens when we learn to be with pain. When we can welcome pain, it releases the grip it has around our heart and we can breathe again. We haven't been taught how to be with pain. We've learnt coping mechanisms to avoid pain by disconnecting from our bodies and hearts.

The Sacred Feminine is our body. You find her deep down in the layers of your being. In the pain that you carry, in the joy's and pleasures of your body, in the sorrow and greif held in your heart. She is every part of you, and every aspect of your being need to be embraced for her to reveal her true nature, free from pain and sorrow.

She, who is unconditional love that doesn't leave you. Even in the midst of the greatest sorrow, she is there holding you in the deepst loving embrace you could imagine.

How do you feel about welcoming pain?

I'm guessing the answer is "not good" :)

And that makes complete sense, doesn’t it? Pain is uncomfortable, and no one likes discomfort.

Loving emotions are so enjoyable to be with, it fills our bodies with nourishing hormones and we feel more open in our body, our heart flowing with goodness.

Painful emotions create fear, constriction, and blockages. We feel frozen, scared, shut down and disconnected to ourselves and the divine.

I didn’t realise how repressing my pain was restricting me from living my fullest expression, welcoming love into my heart, experiencing pleasure and feeling safe and connected to myself.

I felt broken.

We might think that we're broken, that ‘there’s something wrong with me. I’m not normal because I feel so disconnected from myself, so out of touch with my body.’

Let me tell you, you are not broken!

You are feeling what every woman is feeling. Disconnected from her Feminine Essence.

And we have been disconnected from ourselves. We’ve grown up in a culture that values intellect over heart and feelings.

When we were sad as children, we may have heard ‘don’t be sad, don’t cry, be brave’. We wanted to be good and strong girls, because that's when our parents loved us.

We haven’t learnt that pain is a part of living, as much as love and joy is. To feel the full spectrum of love, pain has to be processed.

So how to be with pain? The answer is by welcoming it. Something very profound happens when you welcome your pain, the grip it holds around your heart releases.

Pain is love, if we meet pain with a welcome and acceptance the pain transforms into the deepest love, a love that is filled with compassion and peace, because we are no longer resisting.

Welcoming is what every thought, pain and trauma needs. It needs an unconditional loving parent to hold it, cradle it and accept it. We can be our own inner parent, who gives the hurt parts of ourselves all that she didn’t get as a child.

This will help the pain release the hold it has on you. When the grip around your heart releases, the truth of your being shines through and your heart blossoms.

The deepest healing work I have done is inner child meditation. It has helped the hurt and lost parts in me integrate and find a home inside. It has given me a tool for coming back to safety and a deep inner connection to myself.

It's been especially important on my journey of Feminine Healing. All the wounds that show up and can be overwhelming, need to have someone that can meet them with open arms and acceptance.

The one that meets them is the inner Wise Woman. The wise part of you who knows how to take care of someone in pain, who gives full support and unconditional love.

The simplicity of connecting to yourself, of listening, giving recognition and love is all our wounds is asking for.

Here’s a free Inner Child meditation for you (30 min).

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